What 1,600 College Essays Taught Me About Standing Out
Write to Communicate, Not to Impress
It's been a long but successful year. As a team, we've worked on nearly 1,600 drafts of college admissions essays this admissions season, and our students are delighted to be attending dozens of universities ranging from Columbia to UCLA.
After all those edits, I'm struck by some common mistakes students make in their college application essays. I wanted to share some insights.
The most common symptom is that students read their essays and say, "It doesn't sound like me. It's like… I could've been anyone." Sometimes, it's not the student who sees that, but their coach or parent.
That moment, when students realize their essay has no heartbeat, is more common than you'd think. Every year, bright, motivated students fall into the same traps: trying too hard to impress, over-polishing their voice, or writing about what they think admissions officers want to hear.
The good news? These mistakes are fixable. Below, I'll break down what I think are the most common college essay pitfalls—and share real, successful examples that show how to avoid them.
Mistake #1: Trying to Sound "Impressive" Instead of Being Real
Many students think their essays need to prove how smart, mature, or accomplished they are, so they pack them with complex vocabulary, formal phrasing, and sweeping generalizations about leadership or growth.
College application readers have read hundreds of these "thesaurused" essays, which use words students aren't familiar with and sound inauthentic and sometimes inappropriate in context. They're also tired of essays that tell them how much a student loves helping people or solving problems without providing authentic examples. Admissions readers aren't looking for perfection—they're looking for stories of growth, struggle, and self-reflection.
What to do instead: Write in your voice. Be clear, be honest, and don't be afraid to be a little quirky.
✅ What it looks like done well:
"Origami, much like mathematics, has two aspects—imagining ideas and bringing them to life. My parents sometimes remind me that, when I was younger, the quickest way to wake me up in the morning was loudly stating an incorrect math problem. I would be up in a moment, outraged, determined to set the blasphemous statement right instantly!"
This student didn't try to sound overly sophisticated. His love of origami and mathematics was real, and he shared a sweet real-life example without bragging. He just sounded like himself—curious, passionate, and engaged. And it worked. The student is at MIT.
Mistake #2: Telling Without Showing
Many essays rely on statements like: "This experience taught me resilience" or "I'm passionate about helping others." But those words don't mean much unless backed by a story.
Students don't always realize the beauty in commonplace moments when they went out of their way to help someone or lay awake all night puzzling through a solution to a problem. They don't see the beauty in teaching someone with Alzheimer's to play chess only to have to start all over again next week. But it's those moments that make a story compelling.
What to do instead: Use vivid storytelling. Describe scenes. Include dialogue, emotions, and action. Let the reader live the moment with you.
✅ What it looks like done well:
"When my alarm rang at 1:00 a.m., I would happily get up to help Deena because that was often the only time she was free. While my school bus grunted along to pick up students, I would juggle my tangled earbuds, my TI-84 calculator, and my old Statistics notes to prepare Deena for her upcoming test."
This student could've just said, "I'm committed to helping others." Instead, they showed us. The result? We believe them. And yes, it worked. The student is at NYU.
Telling stories also helps students avoid vast generalizations like "I've always loved science" or "Helping others gives me joy." These statements are so broad that they lose all meaning. Students have to undergo some self-reflection to realize that they want to help people by solving environmental problems in the community or that the science they love is really astronomy and not biochemistry.
What to do instead: Be specific. Include concrete details that only apply to you.
✅ What it looks like done well:
"In 6th grade, I noticed excessive litter in local parking lots… I created the Smart Waste Bin to monitor conditions surrounding the bin, send signals to a waste facility, and optimize garbage collection. I patented this technology with my dad's help."
That's not a vague interest in science—it's an invention story, complete with a problem, a solution, and a personal stake. The student who wrote that essay ended up at the University of California, Berkeley.
Mistake #3: Writing Like It's an English Class Assignment
Some students stick to a five-paragraph structure and use passive voice and long sentences excessively. Others let AI or adults rewrite the essay so thoroughly that it loses all sense of individuality.
One technique that really helps is to have students record themselves reading their essays and then listening to them. A well-written essay has rhythm and groove. It has pauses and variations in tone and volume. A good grade in English class usually relies on meeting a rubric, so students don't learn how to write conversationally. We tell students to:
Use active voice.
Vary their sentence lengths. Use short sentences for emphasis and longer sentences to provide details.
Think about the structure of their essay. Use paragraphs to take the reader on a journey.
What to do instead: Write conversationally. Let your personality shine through. Use tools like Grammarly only to check for grammar and punctuation, not to change your voice.
✅ What it looks like done well:
"'Wanna come downstairs and help me tear apart this old computer?' Never would I have believed the immense gratitude I'd have for such a simple question…"
This essay starts with a line of dialogue—a great hook—and immediately pulls us into a moment. It's informal but thoughtful, structured but personal.
Mistake #4: Forgetting the Reflection
You might write a great story, but if you don't explain why it matters, the essay falls flat. The best essays don't just describe experiences—they reflect on them.
Admissions readers often only have a few minutes to read your essay, or even your entire application. If the message is buried in the details, they may not hear it. So tell them.
What to do instead: Connect your story to your values, your identity, or your aspirations. Ask yourself: What does this reveal about me? What will the reader learn?
✅ What it looks like done well:
The essay from the previous example ended with this sentence:
"My appreciation for his actions extends beyond the fact he cured my boredom and formed a bond; he taught me to do the same for others."
It isn't just a story about bonding over computers. It's a story about learning to connect, reach out, and grow. The student who wrote the essay is attending the University of North Carolina.
Mistake #5: Trying to Do Too Much
Some students try to cram in every accomplishment, every passion, every quality they think admissions officers are looking for. They sound like a cover letter for a job application. For students applying to colleges in the U.K., for example, this is appropriate; however, for students applying to U.S. universities, it is not what colleges are looking for.
College applications allow students to enter activity lists and resumés, and, of course, colleges see the student's transcript and test scores. They also have spaces to provide additional information as context, so the essays can be a place to focus on the things that set you apart. Find one quality, or at most two, and think carefully about why you chose that one. Then, find a story that highlights that quality.
What to do instead: Focus on one theme. Keep it cohesive. Let your application tell a whole story—your essay doesn't need to carry the entire load.
✅ What it looks like done well:
"I am the unconventional leader of my family... I introduced my parents to new concepts like communication and empathy… I'm also more empathetic to those who were raised differently than I was as a result of having to put myself in others' shoes."
This essay focuses on one theme—being the leader of her family even as a teenager—and explores it deeply, showing how she used that leadership role to teach and learn empathy. Like the other examples I've cited, this student was successful and is now at the University of California, Santa Cruz.
Final Thoughts: Write to Communicate, Not to Impress
If I have one idea I remind all our students of, it's this one: write to communicate, not to impress. A thoughtful essay that uses a meaningful story to communicate something important is automatically impressive. Most high school students aren't "great" writers, but they can be effective writers.
That means:
Being clear, concise, and specific
Using stories to show who you are
Writing in your voice
Reflecting meaningfully on your experiences
And above all, it means telling a story only you can tell.
Happy writing!